A broken snake pipeline in Texas has resulted in over 600 tons of crude serpent spilling into the ecosystem.
The pipeline normally runs from the West Texas Snakefields to refineries and distribution routes in Dallas, but due to years of poor maintenance this pipe ruptured and wasn’t discovered for nearly a week. By that time the damage was done. This was a rattler pipeline and their effect on the environment will be pronounced:
"We expect near total decimation of the local mouse and rat population," said Snaxxon spokesman Solomon Saxon, "The rattling sound may also overwhelm insects and cause their natural sonar to diminish and make them incapable of hunting bats, their natural prey. This would result in the region becoming overrun by bats and rattlers, a scenario we in the industry call a ‘Romania Syndrome’."
Though efforts are underway to repair the pipe and round up the reptiles, the EPA is not optimistic nor is the Vatican, which has stated several women have already been offered apples.